Stop Sabotaging Yourself
Tell me if this sounds familiar… you get hit with a brilliant idea. I’m not just talking about any run-of-the-mill “good idea”.
Oh no. Your idea is IMPECCABBLE. You almost can’t imagine that someone else hasn’t come up with it before.
So you start putting in some research and drafting ideas. You always start with such good intentions, but somewhere along the line, you either stop or give up. Why?
We humans, as complex as we are, can be so annoyingly simple at times. The truth is, we rarely do anything that doesn’t reward us or benefit us in some way. At some point during the start of our exceptionally brilliant idea, we might realize that we don’t know how to do something, or we don’t have all the information or knowledge that might be required. And so, in an attempt to distance ourselves from the pain or discomfort of feeling incompetent or insecure, we procrastinate.
Here’s the thing, though, when we procrastinate, we don't just push tasks or actions to a later date, we're making a decision—as passive as that might be—to not prioritize our future. With every task we delay, what we’re telling ourselves is that our dreams, aspirations, and even mundane responsibilities aren't important enough.
We let temporary comfort take precedence over our potential long-term gains.
The Struggle
Our brain is a tricky thing. On one hand, it wants us to be safe, secure, and comfortable. On the other, it thrives on growth and challenges. Self-sabotaging often stems from our brain's inclination toward the familiar. Part of procrastination happens so that we can avoid feeling incompetent, inferior, and insecure. My own procrastination often stems from these 3 things:
Fear of Failure: We're so scared of failing that we don’t even try. By not giving our best shot, we can always tell ourselves, "Well, I didn’t really try, so this doesn’t count as a failure."
Perfectionism: We don’t want to look incompetent, so if we can’t do it perfectly, or as good as how we see our favorite content creator do it, then what’s the point of even trying?
Analysis Paralysis: “I just need to learn a few more things or build a few more skills”. The truth is, you’re attempting to gather all this data in hopes that you’ll feel ready to start, but that will almost never happen.
Here’s how I started working on my own procrastination.
Spot the Signs
The first step to fixing a problem is admitting there is one. This part requires you to be honest with yourself. Are you putting things off by saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow”? Only for tomorrow to never get here? Maybe you’re in the habit of setting unrealistic goals. Here’s the thing, if you’re setting yourself up with impossible tasks and then beating yourself up for not achieving them, guess what? That’s self-sabotage.
Break the Cycle
If any of these signs sounds familiar, then you’re not alone. I can only bring them up because they’ve affected (and at times still affect) me. But that doesn’t mean we can’t actively work on being better. Firstly, it’s about being self-aware. Remember, you can’t fix something that you’ve closed your eyes to. Here are three ways that have helped me:
Journaling: If there’s one way to challenge yourself and get a read on where you are mentally, it’s to journal. There’s just something freeing about being able to put your thoughts to paper. And in doing so, you’ll encounter a lot of reasons why you’re thinking (or acting) the way that you are.
Shift Your Mindset: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Look, your mindset drives SO much of what you will accomplish in life. You have to protect it. This went hand in hand with my journaling. As I felt myself thinking negatively, it was often a trigger for me to write down what I was feeling and then actively challenge my negative thinking with a positive statement or affirmation.
Set Achievable Goals: Start with small steps. One of my favorite quotes (no clue who originally said it), is that we often overestimate what we can do in the short term, and underestimate what we can do in the long term. When you set your goals, make it realistic, and then add 50% more time. It’s okay to start slow. You don’t have to be a success next week; give yourself a little grace.
Embrace Imperfection
I’m not perfect, nobody is. We all have moments of doubt and insecurity, but we have to push through that to get to the life we want to live. Embrace imperfections. Laugh at the missteps. I’m not the world’s greatest writer, but you better believe I’m dropping blog posts consistently. The only way I’ll learn, and get better, is to simply…do the thing. I’ll learn from there, and so can you.
Believe in yourself and your journey. You've got this!
LESSON: Procrastination is one of your biggest self-sabotagues. Stop it. Start Now!
