Live The Life You Want
I’ve recently turned 40 (shocker, I know), and my cousin (Kwesi, here’s your shoutout!) asked me a profound question.
What is the main difference between turning 40 and when you turned 30?
I actually had to pause for a moment because it was a really good question, and it deserved a thought out response. In the moment, I gave him a pared down version of what I want to tell you.
When I turned 30, I realized that life was just beginning.
When we’re in our 20s, we’re loving life, we’re just getting into adulthood and creating our own friendships and relationships. We start making our own money and making our own decisions. The world that was just out of reach as a teen, suddenly seems and feels so much more accessible.
Image from Unsplash
There’s SO much freedom that we almost revolt against the idea of “growing up”. Society makes hitting 30 seem like you have to leave all the fun behind. “Now it’s time to build a family, buy a house, be more of an adult.” How many times have we heard, “Well when you hit 30, it’s all downhill from there.”
Even when said in jest, this implants the idea that turning 30 is something to fear. As if, the morning we wake up as a newly minted 30 year old, our knees start creaking and our baby making biology starts a rushed countdown timer.
The truth is, I’ve had the time of my LIFE in my 30s! Here’s just a few reasons why:
I had more money to do cooler stuff because I had more experience in my industry to back up those pay increase requests.
I figured out WHY certain things were important and made goals toward them, ultimately giving me focus and clarity.
I learned to speak up for myself and others. Being comfortable in my own skin has been a game changer.
I’m sure there are any number of other reasons why your 30s have been great, and I’d love to hear from you about your experiences, but long story short, turning 30 and being in my 30s gave me the freedom to try new things and realize that life isn’t over if I had to take a couple steps back from doing that.
When I turned 40, I realized that life is incredibly short.
It hit me in the oddest of ways. I was watching SNL’s 50th anniversary episode and I realized that a lot of the comedians that I’d grown up watching were getting old.
They looked older (obviously), but just the way they moved and interacted with the younger cast members brought a tear to my eye. Just the weekend before, I’d watched a movie where a lot of them are now immortalized in their mid thirties bodies, running and jumping, and acting a fool in some comedy flick. It puts a lot of things into perspective.
Image from Pexels
Time waits for no one.
Now, just 10 years after learning that life was just really beginning, I’m confronted with the fact that I’m halfway through my life, God willing.
Don’t believe me? The average life expectancy for a woman in America is 80 years old…
Even knowing this, Death doesn’t scare me. Knowing that I didn’t live the life I truly could have, terrifies me. Knowing that I didn’t tell people that I loved them before I lost them, breaks my heart.
You only get one shot at life (until, of course, AI figures out how to bring your soul back to a physical body), so you’ve got to do the things you’ve always wanted to do with the exuberance of that 28 year old version of yourself.
Go see the Notre Dame cathedral.
Experience waking up in a tent on top of a volcano (make sure it’s not active).
Become the parent you’ve always dreamed of becoming.
Take those language lessons and visit Japan.
Call your parents as much as you can while they’re with you.
Will you be able to do EVERYTHING you’ve always dreamed of? Probably not, and that’s not for the reason you think.
I don’t think you’ll be able to do everything because the moment you start living your life intentionally, you’ll find you keep adding to the list of experiences you want to be a part of.
Now, maybe you’re waking up in that tent on top of that volcano WITH your parents (please still make sure it’s not active).
